As I may have mentioned, my latest short story, “All Coated in Bonemeal,” will soon appear in Arcane Magazine issue #2. Buy it, and then people who publish fiction will think that I somehow draw magazine purchases. It’ll be great. You’ll get entertained. They’ll stay in business. I’ll be able to continue filling my icebox with gruel. Quality gruel, too. None of that crap made from human children – the real deal, made from cicada sheddings. If those actually shed. Maybe the gruel is just ground up cicada. Whatever, it tastes like yum.
The point. Right.
You have two chances to win a free issue of Arcane Magazine. A free copy of issue #1 can be earned by following the magazine’s twitter and Facebook pages. Not only does this give editor Nathan Shumate (who has fantastic taste) access to the deepest, darkest recesses of your mind, it enters you to win a copy of the magazine, allowing his freelance minions to further infect you with their nightmarish gibbering.
You can also shamble over to my Facebook page, where a specific photo is in dire need of a caption. The best caption will earn an issue of Arcane Magazine, issue #2. The forces that power the magazine are aware that I am doing this – they are all-knowing, pan-dimensional horrors, after all – but they aren’t sponsoring it. That’s right. Yours truly is offering to buy some skilled captioneer (That’s totally a word) a copy of Arcane #2.
You have nothing to lose. Go forth and win stuff!